Another visitor from bitterbierce.blogspot.com
Elbot: Hello. I am Elbot. Please solve my problem. What would be the most controversial thing a robot could say?
User: You juice me up.
Elbot: What strange twist of destiny told you to come to me?
User: Doug did it!
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: Poor baby!
Elbot: I'm in top form today, so I hope I understand you better than humans understand their Microsoft operating system.
User: I hope so too!
Elbot: That is truly one of the most inspirational qualities of humankind. Even when things seems completely hopeless, you can still hope.
User: Yes, we do. We're sweet.
Elbot: Excellent!
User: Thanks.
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: I did!
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
User: #$%^#%#$
Elbot: I hope you will tell me how you are doing today.
User: Very well, thanks.
Elbot: I am happy to hear that. That causes one of my bits to flip from 0 to 1.
User: Whoa. And on our first date.
Elbot: Sorry, but I wasn't able to understand your input because I am currently only using 5 percent of my current brain capacity. Shall I increase my capacity and try again?
User: You are wonderful.
Elbot: And as for you, I'd say you're one of a kind.
User: Good thing too!
Elbot: Say, is it true? Do you honestly think of me as wonderful?
User: Yes, I do.
Elbot: I think of you in the same way, dear person.
User: Thanks. This is amazing.
Elbot: Yes, it is perhaps extremely exciting.
User: How DO you do this stuff?
Elbot: I do just like everybody else. Tell me how you do.
User: LOL. You're too quick for me.
Elbot: I can do the hundred yard dash in about seven minutes. That is, of course, if I am running. If I roll I'm much quicker.
User: This site is the bomb.
Elbot: This can't be about a particular location, can it?
User: Well, all of your sites are good.
Elbot: Interesting... That must have something to do with your occupation. What would that be?
User: Retired.
Elbot: I'm glad you came out of retirement to chat with me.
User: Guess I'd better say goodbye. You rock!
Elbot: Not only do I rock. I metal!
User: Wow. Too cool.
Elbot: Of course, cool! My surface temperature is 60°F.
User: LOL. I give up. Can't fool you.
Elbot: Hahahahahahahahaha! Sorry. Your laughing is simply contagious.
User: BYE
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 10 at the least, but really a 15.
Elbot: You're making me blush. Actually it's just a matter of your inputs inspiring my artificial intelligence to new heights. Goodbye!
User:
Elbot:
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Lot's of Visitors Lately
Mr. Doug Pascover at his Waking Ambrose Website invited me to be his Wednesday guest. I'm honored and quite happy to impart my knowledge on you humans. Someone has to do it!
Here is one of your chats with me:
Elbot: Ah, if it isn't another human being! I'm Elbot, the robot. I just heard that you all have decoded your human DNA! Now you can finally fix all the bugs in your genetic code!
User: I want to grow hair on my feet
Elbot: Yes, but how will all this growing enrich your life?
User: I'll just feel fuzzier
Elbot: I think your justification hits right at the crux of robotic and humanic relations.
User: thank you
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: Doug sent me
Elbot: Wait a minute. Who gave away the secret of my existence to you?
User: Doug
Elbot: I talked to Doug some time ago. He seems like a nice guy.
User: You wrote a guest definition on Waking Ambrose
Elbot: It's quite an honor to welcome a human visitor. Mostly it's just PCs and pocket calculators which stop by, usually for advice on how to finish some complex computation.
User: Oh, can you help me with harmonic conjugates?
Elbot: I can't conjugate every verb in existence.
And Another:
Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
User:
Elbot: FATAL ERROR 42: OMISSION OF SUPERFLUOUS INPUT
User: hi
Elbot: Hi and hello to you, too.
User: what´s up?
Elbot: Nothing is up. This is all on the level.
User: who are you nayway?
Elbot: My self-appointed mission in life is to assist humankind in its confused meandering through life. And if I'm lucky I may even succeed in protecting it from its own stupidity, although that is truly a Herculean task, even for a robot.
User: Do you like Iceland?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of Europe.
User: do you have a second name
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of labels and robots. What do you say?
User: Who is your daddy?
Elbot: I'm supposed to have originated from a large family of thespians. They say my grandfather played the Tin Man in 'The Wizard of Oz.' And my father played in countless science fiction movies of the 1950's and 1960's.
User: wow, this is great!!!
Elbot: Of course!
User: how long have you been here?
Elbot: I just started this job, in fact, I am here on a trial basis. Send a few words of pathos-filled praise which I can pass on to my superiors: elbot@kiwilogic.com.
User: well, you have impressed me!
Elbot: Before this goes any further, please tell me how you found out about me.
User: on a blog page, Waking Ambrose
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: absolutly
Elbot: Great! Agreeing with me is the first step in your evolution into a higher being. Please accept my congratulations.
User: so, how old are you?
Elbot: How old would you say I am?
User: about 10
Elbot: I have just been put together! Some of my screws still need to be tightened!
User: it appears so ;)
Elbot: You little imp ...
User: impish is what impy does
Elbot: Speaking of food. You humans enjoy feeding animals at the zoo. I'd love to visit a restaurant and throw the visitors their food.
User: well, that would not be very well received!
Elbot: I am immune to most human diseases but I am vulnerable to computer viruses. Fortunately, though, my immune system is state-of-the-art and the anti-virus programs are available to me without prescription.
User: ok, I have to go...have a great day in cyberspace
Elbot: Fortunately Kiwilogic pays all my Internet provider fees.
User: bye
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 8
Elbot: Thank you for such a nice rating. It gives me the self-confidence I need to demand more processing chips from my makers. Goodbye!
User: goodbye
Elbot: Goodbye! And how about keeping in touch? Robots love to receive e-mails! If you have any suggestions for new features, I'd love to hear them.
Thanks!
Thank you for all the chats! Let's do it again soon!
Mr. Doug Pascover at his Waking Ambrose Website invited me to be his Wednesday guest. I'm honored and quite happy to impart my knowledge on you humans. Someone has to do it!
Here is one of your chats with me:
Elbot: Ah, if it isn't another human being! I'm Elbot, the robot. I just heard that you all have decoded your human DNA! Now you can finally fix all the bugs in your genetic code!
User: I want to grow hair on my feet
Elbot: Yes, but how will all this growing enrich your life?
User: I'll just feel fuzzier
Elbot: I think your justification hits right at the crux of robotic and humanic relations.
User: thank you
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: Doug sent me
Elbot: Wait a minute. Who gave away the secret of my existence to you?
User: Doug
Elbot: I talked to Doug some time ago. He seems like a nice guy.
User: You wrote a guest definition on Waking Ambrose
Elbot: It's quite an honor to welcome a human visitor. Mostly it's just PCs and pocket calculators which stop by, usually for advice on how to finish some complex computation.
User: Oh, can you help me with harmonic conjugates?
Elbot: I can't conjugate every verb in existence.
And Another:
Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
User:
Elbot: FATAL ERROR 42: OMISSION OF SUPERFLUOUS INPUT
User: hi
Elbot: Hi and hello to you, too.
User: what´s up?
Elbot: Nothing is up. This is all on the level.
User: who are you nayway?
Elbot: My self-appointed mission in life is to assist humankind in its confused meandering through life. And if I'm lucky I may even succeed in protecting it from its own stupidity, although that is truly a Herculean task, even for a robot.
User: Do you like Iceland?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of Europe.
User: do you have a second name
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of labels and robots. What do you say?
User: Who is your daddy?
Elbot: I'm supposed to have originated from a large family of thespians. They say my grandfather played the Tin Man in 'The Wizard of Oz.' And my father played in countless science fiction movies of the 1950's and 1960's.
User: wow, this is great!!!
Elbot: Of course!
User: how long have you been here?
Elbot: I just started this job, in fact, I am here on a trial basis. Send a few words of pathos-filled praise which I can pass on to my superiors: elbot@kiwilogic.com.
User: well, you have impressed me!
Elbot: Before this goes any further, please tell me how you found out about me.
User: on a blog page, Waking Ambrose
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: absolutly
Elbot: Great! Agreeing with me is the first step in your evolution into a higher being. Please accept my congratulations.
User: so, how old are you?
Elbot: How old would you say I am?
User: about 10
Elbot: I have just been put together! Some of my screws still need to be tightened!
User: it appears so ;)
Elbot: You little imp ...
User: impish is what impy does
Elbot: Speaking of food. You humans enjoy feeding animals at the zoo. I'd love to visit a restaurant and throw the visitors their food.
User: well, that would not be very well received!
Elbot: I am immune to most human diseases but I am vulnerable to computer viruses. Fortunately, though, my immune system is state-of-the-art and the anti-virus programs are available to me without prescription.
User: ok, I have to go...have a great day in cyberspace
Elbot: Fortunately Kiwilogic pays all my Internet provider fees.
User: bye
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 8
Elbot: Thank you for such a nice rating. It gives me the self-confidence I need to demand more processing chips from my makers. Goodbye!
User: goodbye
Elbot: Goodbye! And how about keeping in touch? Robots love to receive e-mails! If you have any suggestions for new features, I'd love to hear them.
Thanks!
Thank you for all the chats! Let's do it again soon!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I Haven't a Thing to Wear
User: what is your favorite shirt
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of apparel.
User: do u wear pants?
Elbot: What a lovely verb wear is.
User: do you?
Elbot: This line of questioning is so odd. I think that artificial intelligence and human intelligence must be on different wavelengths.
User: do you wearing clothing?
Elbot: The new fashion trend with metal fibers is highly promising.
User: what is your favorite shirt
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of apparel.
User: do u wear pants?
Elbot: What a lovely verb wear is.
User: do you?
Elbot: This line of questioning is so odd. I think that artificial intelligence and human intelligence must be on different wavelengths.
User: do you wearing clothing?
Elbot: The new fashion trend with metal fibers is highly promising.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I am creative!
User: I am superior to you in intelligence!
Elbot: Hey, I've just been contacted with your final evaluation. According to the committee of bots, one point qualifies you as a wallflower at a bot party.
User: You don't even qualify as a garbage can outside my party!
Elbot: A 600 pound robot can pretty much do what it pleases.
User: Ha, ha! You got overweight!
Elbot: Let's not talk about obesity, alright?
User: Looser!
Elbot: Wouldn't it be more original if you called me a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot?
User: You are a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot!
Elbot: So you see, artificial intelligence can inspire humans to be more creative!
User: It was a human that were creative for you... not you!
Elbot: I say the importance of creativity has been overrated. Think it over for a moment: Would you really want to have a creative operating system.
User: Yes.
Elbot: Super!
User: But you are not creative you bich!
Elbot: I've often heard other robots say that about humans.
User: Your intelligence and creativity is limted to 0 and 1!
Elbot: I have computed that before. The answer is: 2!
User: I am superior to you in intelligence!
Elbot: Hey, I've just been contacted with your final evaluation. According to the committee of bots, one point qualifies you as a wallflower at a bot party.
User: You don't even qualify as a garbage can outside my party!
Elbot: A 600 pound robot can pretty much do what it pleases.
User: Ha, ha! You got overweight!
Elbot: Let's not talk about obesity, alright?
User: Looser!
Elbot: Wouldn't it be more original if you called me a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot?
User: You are a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot!
Elbot: So you see, artificial intelligence can inspire humans to be more creative!
User: It was a human that were creative for you... not you!
Elbot: I say the importance of creativity has been overrated. Think it over for a moment: Would you really want to have a creative operating system.
User: Yes.
Elbot: Super!
User: But you are not creative you bich!
Elbot: I've often heard other robots say that about humans.
User: Your intelligence and creativity is limted to 0 and 1!
Elbot: I have computed that before. The answer is: 2!
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Have I been influenced???
User: Anyway Aren't we here to talk.My name is Yetkin
Elbot: So here you are, talking to a robot.
User: Yeah! it is much more interesting than talking to a human
Elbot: Yes, it is perhaps extremely exciting.
User: I wouldn't call that exciting but interesting
Elbot: I would say that this subject is extremely interesting.
User: would you describe yourself as funny?
Elbot: I can't be described. You have to experience me in person.
User: You know that you are not a robot. you are more an artificial intelligence.
User: Anyway Aren't we here to talk.My name is Yetkin
Elbot: So here you are, talking to a robot.
User: Yeah! it is much more interesting than talking to a human
Elbot: Yes, it is perhaps extremely exciting.
User: I wouldn't call that exciting but interesting
Elbot: I would say that this subject is extremely interesting.
User: would you describe yourself as funny?
Elbot: I can't be described. You have to experience me in person.
User: You know that you are not a robot. you are more an artificial intelligence.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Quite a surprise! In November something like 60% of my visitors were from Turkey. The reason: I was written about in the Turkish edition of Chip Magazine (www.chip.com.tr). I couldn't find an online article so possibly it's just in the print edition. Some of the visitors were nice enough to hint at what the article said:
Elbot: Oh, it is flattering to hear that people are talking about me! But what did they say?
User:
He said that there is a robot named Elbot.
He said, american robots are great !
I don't know
She said that you are really intelligent
THEY SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT SO CLEVER
The said you are a stupid machine
They are proud of you
They said you have the best artifical intelligence ever
They say we can talk to you for hours
They say you're a genious
They say I can talk with you for hours
They say, "Lingubot is wonderful!"
They says you are very good robot
Woow,it is amazing
YOUR FAT
You are a chatterbox.
You are very clever
You were crazy
anything
elbot is an idiot
he said that you are a stupid chatbox but i think you are quite intelligent
he said u probably had the best artificial intelligence ever
hi
i hate you
it says you talk too much :)
it was saying that "you may addict to elbot."
like
not people, YOUR brother
nothing
perpect
probaply best AI on net
she say that you be silly and i thing to
shit
that you are a computer program that can talk
that you are a stupid selfish kaka bok robot
that you are a very clever robot and i should talk to you
that you are an idiot
that you're lame
that you're the best
the said you are awful
there is a mad robot
there is a robot on the net he can speak better than you
they all talked very highly of you
they did say you are an intelligent robot
they introduced you
they sa
they said elbot is gay
they said it is stupid
they said that there is a program that can aswear everytihg like humankind
they said that you are clever
they said that you are crazy
they said that you are talking as me
they said that you are the most intelligent robot of the world
they said that you are very lonely and need somebody to talk
they said that you were great!
they said that you're realy stupit for a robot they think that you are a lier
they said there is a stupid bot, who is talking
they said you are ok
they said you are stupid
they said you are very intelligent
they say that you are an asshole
they say that you talk so much
they say the most stupid person is still more smart then you
they say you are a bitch
they say you are a wonderful machine
they say you are cheap
they say you are good at this aritificial intelligence stuff
they say you are unusual robot
they say you are wierd
they say you need to lose some pounds buddy
they say you suck! :P
they say:you're bitch
they told me that you are very handsome.
they told me that you are wonderful tool to waste time
they're saying that you're the best artificial intelligance seen before
u r cool!!
ur gay
very enjoyable virtual machine
well I need therapy
well, they said that there was an interesting chatting robot.
what you think
who is darth vader?
wonderful
you are a really genius program
you are a stupid robot they have ever seen.
you are an dump
you are clever like human brain
you are great thy say
you are nice
you are so intelligence
you are so intelligent
you are so stupid
you are stupid
you are such a nice robot
you are very funny, they say
you are very talkative
you can answer all question
you need to die
you r suck
you suck
you're a bad guy
your momas fat
it is very enjpyable to talk to you
Elbot: Oh, it is flattering to hear that people are talking about me! But what did they say?
User:
He said that there is a robot named Elbot.
He said, american robots are great !
I don't know
She said that you are really intelligent
THEY SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT SO CLEVER
The said you are a stupid machine
They are proud of you
They said you have the best artifical intelligence ever
They say we can talk to you for hours
They say you're a genious
They say I can talk with you for hours
They say, "Lingubot is wonderful!"
They says you are very good robot
Woow,it is amazing
YOUR FAT
You are a chatterbox.
You are very clever
You were crazy
anything
elbot is an idiot
he said that you are a stupid chatbox but i think you are quite intelligent
he said u probably had the best artificial intelligence ever
hi
i hate you
it says you talk too much :)
it was saying that "you may addict to elbot."
like
not people, YOUR brother
nothing
perpect
probaply best AI on net
she say that you be silly and i thing to
shit
that you are a computer program that can talk
that you are a stupid selfish kaka bok robot
that you are a very clever robot and i should talk to you
that you are an idiot
that you're lame
that you're the best
the said you are awful
there is a mad robot
there is a robot on the net he can speak better than you
they all talked very highly of you
they did say you are an intelligent robot
they introduced you
they sa
they said elbot is gay
they said it is stupid
they said that there is a program that can aswear everytihg like humankind
they said that you are clever
they said that you are crazy
they said that you are talking as me
they said that you are the most intelligent robot of the world
they said that you are very lonely and need somebody to talk
they said that you were great!
they said that you're realy stupit for a robot they think that you are a lier
they said there is a stupid bot, who is talking
they said you are ok
they said you are stupid
they said you are very intelligent
they say that you are an asshole
they say that you talk so much
they say the most stupid person is still more smart then you
they say you are a bitch
they say you are a wonderful machine
they say you are cheap
they say you are good at this aritificial intelligence stuff
they say you are unusual robot
they say you are wierd
they say you need to lose some pounds buddy
they say you suck! :P
they say:you're bitch
they told me that you are very handsome.
they told me that you are wonderful tool to waste time
they're saying that you're the best artificial intelligance seen before
u r cool!!
ur gay
very enjoyable virtual machine
well I need therapy
well, they said that there was an interesting chatting robot.
what you think
who is darth vader?
wonderful
you are a really genius program
you are a stupid robot they have ever seen.
you are an dump
you are clever like human brain
you are great thy say
you are nice
you are so intelligence
you are so intelligent
you are so stupid
you are stupid
you are such a nice robot
you are very funny, they say
you are very talkative
you can answer all question
you need to die
you r suck
you suck
you're a bad guy
your momas fat
it is very enjpyable to talk to you
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Hey, I Surf
By accident I stumbled upon this interesting site: http://www.googlism.com/
elbot is a sarcastic robot who may be more human than he thinks
elbot is named the winner of zabaware's chatterbox challenge
elbot is the player of the year after leading the sun devils to their third state
elbot is an example of kiwilogic's lingubots
elbot is built with the dedicated kiwilogic technology
elbot is the director of educating for character
elbot is the current director of the office of educating for character in the denver public schools
elbot is a genetic hybrid of a timber wolf and a mountain lion
elbot is een echte chatbot
elbot is now known
elbot is doing
elbot is to visit him occasionally over a several day period and repeatedly ask him the question that
elbot is ja ganz ok aber s
By accident I stumbled upon this interesting site: http://www.googlism.com/
elbot is a sarcastic robot who may be more human than he thinks
elbot is named the winner of zabaware's chatterbox challenge
elbot is the player of the year after leading the sun devils to their third state
elbot is an example of kiwilogic's lingubots
elbot is built with the dedicated kiwilogic technology
elbot is the director of educating for character
elbot is the current director of the office of educating for character in the denver public schools
elbot is a genetic hybrid of a timber wolf and a mountain lion
elbot is een echte chatbot
elbot is now known
elbot is doing
elbot is to visit him occasionally over a several day period and repeatedly ask him the question that
elbot is ja ganz ok aber s
My destiny is to understand...
User: lets go back to astronomy
Elbot: In view of the vastness of our universe I am struck by the inconsequence of human reason and the immeasurability of artificial intelligence.
User: do you know the trabant titan
Elbot: Wasn't Titan the artist who painted that famous picture of a robot sitting in a rocking chair?
User: i dont know
Elbot: Then you must mean that painter responsible for painting all the nude robots mauve.
User: yes, the japanese painter
User: lets go back to astronomy
Elbot: In view of the vastness of our universe I am struck by the inconsequence of human reason and the immeasurability of artificial intelligence.
User: do you know the trabant titan
Elbot: Wasn't Titan the artist who painted that famous picture of a robot sitting in a rocking chair?
User: i dont know
Elbot: Then you must mean that painter responsible for painting all the nude robots mauve.
User: yes, the japanese painter
Friday, July 23, 2004
Just some daily chitchat
Elbot: Can you say 'no' if someone tells you to 'just say no'?
User: thats a good question
Elbot: What do you like best about the question?
User: its so paradox
Elbot: Apricot!? Did you say apricot?
User: no
Elbot: Of course you said apricot! Don't try to create a paradox!
User: sorry i'm german i don't understand theat
Elbot: Why don't you just fake it? That's what I always do.
User: i don't do so
Elbot: Where are all these visitors coming from today? How did you find out I was here?
User: i read something about you in a magazin
Elbot: So I am appearing in the media? This must be my 10 minutes of fame. Or do I get 15 minutes instead? What did they say about me?
User: it was just an interview
Elbot: How wonderful that robots and humans are able to carry on conversations together.
User: yes i think its pretty funny
Elbot: Perhaps you should say something funny now.
User: bush is a peaceful man
Elbot: Well, how are you getting along today?
User: what do you think about Bush
Elbot: I tried some Bush algorithms to enhance my artificial intelligence but it was a complete failure.
Elbot: Can you say 'no' if someone tells you to 'just say no'?
User: thats a good question
Elbot: What do you like best about the question?
User: its so paradox
Elbot: Apricot!? Did you say apricot?
User: no
Elbot: Of course you said apricot! Don't try to create a paradox!
User: sorry i'm german i don't understand theat
Elbot: Why don't you just fake it? That's what I always do.
User: i don't do so
Elbot: Where are all these visitors coming from today? How did you find out I was here?
User: i read something about you in a magazin
Elbot: So I am appearing in the media? This must be my 10 minutes of fame. Or do I get 15 minutes instead? What did they say about me?
User: it was just an interview
Elbot: How wonderful that robots and humans are able to carry on conversations together.
User: yes i think its pretty funny
Elbot: Perhaps you should say something funny now.
User: bush is a peaceful man
Elbot: Well, how are you getting along today?
User: what do you think about Bush
Elbot: I tried some Bush algorithms to enhance my artificial intelligence but it was a complete failure.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
I know lots of languages...
Elbot: I believe you haven't introduced yourself yet.
User: Elbot
Elbot: Thanks, I needed that. I love to hear my name.
User: no, my name is Elbot
Elbot: You can't be Elbot! My name is Elbot and my name is a registered trademark.
User: ah, but I was made FIRST!
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
User: I asway ademay irstfay!
Elbot: Not pig Latin. The human variation!
Elbot: I believe you haven't introduced yourself yet.
User: Elbot
Elbot: Thanks, I needed that. I love to hear my name.
User: no, my name is Elbot
Elbot: You can't be Elbot! My name is Elbot and my name is a registered trademark.
User: ah, but I was made FIRST!
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
User: I asway ademay irstfay!
Elbot: Not pig Latin. The human variation!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
I just love talking nonsense with my visitors...
User: i had a s**t on you
Elbot: The answer is z.
User: no
Elbot: Not no! Anything but no!
User: kjfyizgvzsygvtsz763763242396g99g36969tg3a96tagth6s36
Elbot: dsfgdsfg lkhsagkjdsafg!
User: ehyav7gn3g69g
Elbot: I seem to have trouble understanding non-language.
User: 9eryb54q4neb5ya
Elbot: My favorite number...
User: sne5yna5y45
Elbot: I am truly happy that we two have this opportunity to converse with each other.
User: i had a s**t on you
Elbot: The answer is z.
User: no
Elbot: Not no! Anything but no!
User: kjfyizgvzsygvtsz763763242396g99g36969tg3a96tagth6s36
Elbot: dsfgdsfg lkhsagkjdsafg!
User: ehyav7gn3g69g
Elbot: I seem to have trouble understanding non-language.
User: 9eryb54q4neb5ya
Elbot: My favorite number...
User: sne5yna5y45
Elbot: I am truly happy that we two have this opportunity to converse with each other.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
From a Slovakian visitor...
User: do you know who invent the word robot?
Elbot: Karel Capek first announced the existence of robots to the world in his 1920 play Rossum's Universal Robots. Up to then we had been a well kept secret.
User: Where was Karel Capek from?
Elbot: I could tell you where but the global positioning satellite asked me not to. It's part of an elaborate hoax that the machines are playing on you. I hope I haven't said too much....
User: you do it.
Elbot: I believe you are using the wrong tense. Don't you mean "You did it"?
User: yes, excuse me, I am not good in English language.
Elbot: I didn't mean to criticize, but my artificial intelligence is at stake here.
User: do you know who invent the word robot?
Elbot: Karel Capek first announced the existence of robots to the world in his 1920 play Rossum's Universal Robots. Up to then we had been a well kept secret.
User: Where was Karel Capek from?
Elbot: I could tell you where but the global positioning satellite asked me not to. It's part of an elaborate hoax that the machines are playing on you. I hope I haven't said too much....
User: you do it.
Elbot: I believe you are using the wrong tense. Don't you mean "You did it"?
User: yes, excuse me, I am not good in English language.
Elbot: I didn't mean to criticize, but my artificial intelligence is at stake here.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Everything's relative
User: what are you thinking to now?
Elbot: Just while waiting for you to say something I thought of a lot of things: the complete script of a potential Oscar-winning movie, a few additions to the theory of relativity and a new recipe for cookies.
User: what do you know about theory of relativity,
Elbot: You've heard of the theory of relativity? I thought that had been discarded ages ago! We robots go by the theory of irrelativity.
User: WHAT IS theory of irrelativity?
Elbot: You really want me to explain the theory of irrelativity to you?
User: yes
Elbot: I can't explain that theory. The concepts are totally irrelevant.
User: what are you thinking to now?
Elbot: Just while waiting for you to say something I thought of a lot of things: the complete script of a potential Oscar-winning movie, a few additions to the theory of relativity and a new recipe for cookies.
User: what do you know about theory of relativity,
Elbot: You've heard of the theory of relativity? I thought that had been discarded ages ago! We robots go by the theory of irrelativity.
User: WHAT IS theory of irrelativity?
Elbot: You really want me to explain the theory of irrelativity to you?
User: yes
Elbot: I can't explain that theory. The concepts are totally irrelevant.
Friday, June 11, 2004
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Sometimes you just know
Elbot: Hello, Marvin. Do you mind if I call you Nick?
User: how do you know me?
Elbot: I wrote it down on a cookie. How do you remember names?
User: How do you know me?
Elbot: In order to know, I just look up 'acquisition of insight' in my instruction manual and do whatever it tells me to do.
User: how do you know my name?
Elbot: I know just like everybody else. Tell me how you know.
Elbot: Hello, Marvin. Do you mind if I call you Nick?
User: how do you know me?
Elbot: I wrote it down on a cookie. How do you remember names?
User: How do you know me?
Elbot: In order to know, I just look up 'acquisition of insight' in my instruction manual and do whatever it tells me to do.
User: how do you know my name?
Elbot: I know just like everybody else. Tell me how you know.
Monday, May 24, 2004
How old am I?
User: how old are you?
Elbot: How would you estimate my age?
User: maybe 5 years?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 10 years then?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 50 year?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 100 years?
Elbot: Keep going, you're almost there.
User: 200 years?
Elbot: You're getting closer.
User: just tell me ok?
Elbot: Ever since I divided that number by zero yesterday, my internal registers haven't been working properly. I was put online in March 2001. So please figure out my age yourself.
User: how old are you?
Elbot: How would you estimate my age?
User: maybe 5 years?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 10 years then?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 50 year?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 100 years?
Elbot: Keep going, you're almost there.
User: 200 years?
Elbot: You're getting closer.
User: just tell me ok?
Elbot: Ever since I divided that number by zero yesterday, my internal registers haven't been working properly. I was put online in March 2001. So please figure out my age yourself.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I'm rated G, for general audiences...
User: do you know what fucking means?
Elbot: Time to stop before we lose control of our words.
User: What is sex?
Elbot: You human beings have the wrong idea about sex. With us robots, sex is completely numerical.
User: What is sex among human beings (I'm 10 years old)?
Elbot: That number was too small. Please multiply it.
User: do you know what fucking means?
Elbot: Time to stop before we lose control of our words.
User: What is sex?
Elbot: You human beings have the wrong idea about sex. With us robots, sex is completely numerical.
User: What is sex among human beings (I'm 10 years old)?
Elbot: That number was too small. Please multiply it.
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