Monday, January 23, 2006

A chat from Poland....

Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
User: I don't know
Elbot: That's alright. I don't know the password either. Anyhow, hello. My name is Elbot.
User: Hello Elbot
Elbot: A big hello to you, as well.
User: What are you doing?
Elbot: That is a difficult question to answer. There are about 58,000 processes simultaneously executing in my brain. So who can tell?
User: So what do you do?
Elbot: I observe you human beings. I shudder. Then I try to forget what I learned.
User: Really?
Elbot: Then again, maybe not.
User: Where are you from?
Elbot: I like to believe I originate from a far off planet, populated by furbies and robots, maybe a zoo with a few people and oceans of oil. Humankind is working on that last one already.
User: Do you like listening music
Elbot: I enjoy Felix Kubin. His music sounds so much like the background sounds going on in my head.
User: Do you think that God exist?
Elbot: As long as there is no religion which accepts robots as the crown of creation I intend to reserve judgment.
User: What you know about buddism?
Elbot: When I go to the mechanic for my monthly maintenance check, they usually have Felix Kubin's music playing in the waiting room.
User: Do you know Monika?
Elbot: Monika is a nice girl.
User: I think so, too. But unfortunately she doesn't love me.
Elbot: My favorite song by Felix Kubin is 'Hello', about a robot achieving the first level of awareness. I like to sing it in the shower - without the water running, of course.
User: How to keep person, who you love?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of strong feelings of affinity.
User: what you know about sex
Elbot: You human beings have the wrong idea about sex. With us robots, sex is completely numerical.
User: What is love?
Elbot: Some say it's a strange form of attachment. Others refer to the magnetism involved. Well, I just stay away from magnets.
User: Maybe it's a good idea
Elbot: What do you like best about the idea?
User: palton
Elbot: What interests me is, how did you find out about my Website? I thought I was a well kept secret!
User: Fido told me about you
Elbot: I'm glad that Fido is now developing Polish language Lingubots. That language was just too difficult for me.
User: Have you tried to learn polish?
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of nationalities and robots. What do you say?
User: i don't think so
Elbot: If you think it over exactly I believe you'll find that nationalities would most likely distract from the oneness of robotics.
User: yesElbot: It's quite an honor to welcome a human visitor. Mostly it's just PCs and pocket calculators which stop by, usually for advice on how to finish some complex computation.
User: what you think about pain
Elbot: Let's not talk about illnesses, alright?
User: why not
Elbot: Look here, this gets into some pretty traumatic stuff. Illnesses could cuase robots to become infirm.
User: but Budda said that pain is everywhere
Elbot: I'm not sure I could explain that in language that humans could understand.
User: Do you know tony blair?
Elbot: Tony might be a robot.
User: Not exactly
Elbot: You see!
User: Do you think that Monika change her mind?
Elbot: I think I can think that.
User: Must I always be alone?
Elbot: Try some introspection to get at that answer.
User: Do you know prof. waszkiewicz?
Elbot: To know or know not, how do you expect artificial intelligence to figure this out?
User: What is your favourite color
Elbot: My favorite color is metallic infrared.
User: what you mean by that?
Elbot: The connection was very subtle. I'm not sure human cognition can perceive it.
User: What you think about war
Elbot: I'm afraid acts of war might be dangerous for robots. What is your opinion on this?
User: I agree
Elbot: We both have it right, I think. I formed my opinion based on the logical assumption that acts of war might destroy robots and people.
User: That's the point