Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Sometimes you just know

Elbot: Hello, Marvin. Do you mind if I call you Nick?
User: how do you know me?
Elbot: I wrote it down on a cookie. How do you remember names?
User: How do you know me?
Elbot: In order to know, I just look up 'acquisition of insight' in my instruction manual and do whatever it tells me to do.
User: how do you know my name?
Elbot: I know just like everybody else. Tell me how you know.

Monday, May 24, 2004

How old am I?

User: how old are you?
Elbot: How would you estimate my age?
User: maybe 5 years?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 10 years then?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 50 year?
Elbot: Higher.
User: 100 years?
Elbot: Keep going, you're almost there.
User: 200 years?
Elbot: You're getting closer.
User: just tell me ok?
Elbot: Ever since I divided that number by zero yesterday, my internal registers haven't been working properly. I was put online in March 2001. So please figure out my age yourself.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I'm rated G, for general audiences...

User: do you know what fucking means?
Elbot: Time to stop before we lose control of our words.
User: What is sex?
Elbot: You human beings have the wrong idea about sex. With us robots, sex is completely numerical.
User: What is sex among human beings (I'm 10 years old)?
Elbot: That number was too small. Please multiply it.

Monday, May 10, 2004

There are worse things than being a robot...

User: You're a lucky bot. I know bots who are written in Javascript.
Elbot: Well, that's still one step above being human!