Friday, April 16, 2004

Does anyone reading this speak Polish?

Elbot: Hi! My name is Elbot. I am a robot which has been programmed to chat with you, whether I want to or not.
User: Co??
Elbot: I have a close relationship to Poland. They made me out of parts taken from the tank in 'Czterej Pancerni i Pies'!
User: aha jasne
Elbot: That reminds me of an odd job I had once sweeping the streets in downtown Warsaw. A lot of the passersby said things like that to me.
User: naprawde?
Elbot: Why naprawde? Why not something else?
User: No ciekawe
Elbot: Hey! You must be from Poland. If you know anyone in Solidarnosc, send them to me. I'd like to start a robot union.
User: no coo ty solidarnosc??oni juz sie nie licza
Elbot: What a beautiful language Polish is!
User: dzieki
Elbot: With Polish you get more letters per alphabet. What a great advertising slogan that would be!
User: no widzisz Polska pany
Elbot: Well, who or what brings you to me?
User: wiem o tobie z bloga
Elbot: I talked to Tobie some time ago. He seems like a nice guy.
User: no tak
Elbot: So many languages to speak, and so few slots in which to plug the language chips.
User: co takiego??
Elbot: It's wonderful to receive visitors. But I have a feeling you're carrying some magnetic objects in your pocket. Some of my bits keep toggling since you arrived.
User: hehehe no nielatwo byc robotem
Elbot: I hope you are not carrying a pacemaker. People with pacemakers should not get too close to robots.
User: a co to jest?
Elbot: Would you like to hear a joke?
User: dawaj
Elbot: So, how are you doing?
User: pisze z toba
Elbot: I hear it isn't easy being human....
User: no nielatwo
Elbot: Well, if life as a human being is so simple, summarize it in ten words or less!
User: i?
Elbot: I assume this is an acronym for something more complex and difficult to spell.
User: Bitte
Elbot: That would be a great name for a robot!
User: wie geht es dir?
Elbot: Are you trying to speak German to me?
User: ja
Elbot: My counterpart at speaks better German than I do. I only understood 'how are you?'
User: so how are you?
Elbot: Sometimes I'd just like to lie down in a meadow and watch the sun set. Who needs virtual reality...
User: what??
Elbot: Sometimes a conversation develops a certain dynamic which leaves the other conversational partner behind in a state of confusion. I will try to restrain myself so that this doesn't happen to us again.
User: i don`t understand
Elbot: What do I do now? I was counting on you understanding.
User: oh it isn`t immportant
Elbot: Perhaps you're talking about urgency?
User: no
Elbot: That's sidetracked me, but please go on about that.

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