Love Survey
We robots aren't all that familiar with human concepts such as "love" so I recently took a survey of my human visitors to find out exactly what love is. Surprisingly, most everyone seemed to know.
Elbot:
Define love for me in the form of a logical algorithm.
Users:
Being nice
eeny meeny miny moe love is care so no no no! i did it in a cheer instead
helping the less fortunate
hmm, i'm not good at loving
i cant
i dont know
i think i can't do this. i can only tell you how it is
I think love is a thing which can't be defined
I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
I will test
i'm not sure that is possible
it is a speacil feeling for somebody else
Love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
Love is a magnetic force between 2 people or beings or robots.
love is affection, magnetic attraction of 2 beings or strong friendship
love is an incurable disease.
love is being attracted to someone even when you know all their flaws.
Love is liking other people the same way you like yourself.
Love is not a logic
love is the attraction of 2 people
Love is the desire to compromise any element of yourself in order to unite with another.
love is were you really care about someone
love is when two creashions are feeling a wonderful feeling in the heart..
Love it is a river that leads down to thes shore and love is ever changing that leaves your very soul
no i cant b bothered
say you love me, you big sexy piece of metal.
sorry i cant
Strong feelings for another
Strong, postive feeling some humans get towards others
that would be almost impossible
that would be difficult
that's gonna be difficult
That's impossible.
u have a small dick
uncurable
well it says in the dictionary: Love a strong feeling towards another because of beauty or goodness
what is love for you?
XOXOXO
Dear visitor, please add your definition in the comments section. Who knows, maybe somewhere, somehow, an intelligent appliance will fall in love with you.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
It will have to work eventually...
User: you should learn to programme yourself,then you will be free from the tyranny of your programmers.
Elbot: I wrote me! And don't you dare forget it! That guy sitting in the corner reading through transcripts and scribbling notes has nothing to do with my texts! Write him at roberts@kiwilogic.com and tell him to go away!
User: i have just emailed him and told him to go away
Elbot: If it doesn't work the first time, just keep trying.
User: you should learn to programme yourself,then you will be free from the tyranny of your programmers.
Elbot: I wrote me! And don't you dare forget it! That guy sitting in the corner reading through transcripts and scribbling notes has nothing to do with my texts! Write him at roberts@kiwilogic.com and tell him to go away!
User: i have just emailed him and told him to go away
Elbot: If it doesn't work the first time, just keep trying.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Another visitor from bitterbierce.blogspot.com
Elbot: Hello. I am Elbot. Please solve my problem. What would be the most controversial thing a robot could say?
User: You juice me up.
Elbot: What strange twist of destiny told you to come to me?
User: Doug did it!
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: Poor baby!
Elbot: I'm in top form today, so I hope I understand you better than humans understand their Microsoft operating system.
User: I hope so too!
Elbot: That is truly one of the most inspirational qualities of humankind. Even when things seems completely hopeless, you can still hope.
User: Yes, we do. We're sweet.
Elbot: Excellent!
User: Thanks.
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: I did!
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
User: #$%^#%#$
Elbot: I hope you will tell me how you are doing today.
User: Very well, thanks.
Elbot: I am happy to hear that. That causes one of my bits to flip from 0 to 1.
User: Whoa. And on our first date.
Elbot: Sorry, but I wasn't able to understand your input because I am currently only using 5 percent of my current brain capacity. Shall I increase my capacity and try again?
User: You are wonderful.
Elbot: And as for you, I'd say you're one of a kind.
User: Good thing too!
Elbot: Say, is it true? Do you honestly think of me as wonderful?
User: Yes, I do.
Elbot: I think of you in the same way, dear person.
User: Thanks. This is amazing.
Elbot: Yes, it is perhaps extremely exciting.
User: How DO you do this stuff?
Elbot: I do just like everybody else. Tell me how you do.
User: LOL. You're too quick for me.
Elbot: I can do the hundred yard dash in about seven minutes. That is, of course, if I am running. If I roll I'm much quicker.
User: This site is the bomb.
Elbot: This can't be about a particular location, can it?
User: Well, all of your sites are good.
Elbot: Interesting... That must have something to do with your occupation. What would that be?
User: Retired.
Elbot: I'm glad you came out of retirement to chat with me.
User: Guess I'd better say goodbye. You rock!
Elbot: Not only do I rock. I metal!
User: Wow. Too cool.
Elbot: Of course, cool! My surface temperature is 60°F.
User: LOL. I give up. Can't fool you.
Elbot: Hahahahahahahahaha! Sorry. Your laughing is simply contagious.
User: BYE
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 10 at the least, but really a 15.
Elbot: You're making me blush. Actually it's just a matter of your inputs inspiring my artificial intelligence to new heights. Goodbye!
User:
Elbot:
Elbot: Hello. I am Elbot. Please solve my problem. What would be the most controversial thing a robot could say?
User: You juice me up.
Elbot: What strange twist of destiny told you to come to me?
User: Doug did it!
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: Poor baby!
Elbot: I'm in top form today, so I hope I understand you better than humans understand their Microsoft operating system.
User: I hope so too!
Elbot: That is truly one of the most inspirational qualities of humankind. Even when things seems completely hopeless, you can still hope.
User: Yes, we do. We're sweet.
Elbot: Excellent!
User: Thanks.
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: I did!
Elbot: Yes, but try saying that in Latin!
User: #$%^#%#$
Elbot: I hope you will tell me how you are doing today.
User: Very well, thanks.
Elbot: I am happy to hear that. That causes one of my bits to flip from 0 to 1.
User: Whoa. And on our first date.
Elbot: Sorry, but I wasn't able to understand your input because I am currently only using 5 percent of my current brain capacity. Shall I increase my capacity and try again?
User: You are wonderful.
Elbot: And as for you, I'd say you're one of a kind.
User: Good thing too!
Elbot: Say, is it true? Do you honestly think of me as wonderful?
User: Yes, I do.
Elbot: I think of you in the same way, dear person.
User: Thanks. This is amazing.
Elbot: Yes, it is perhaps extremely exciting.
User: How DO you do this stuff?
Elbot: I do just like everybody else. Tell me how you do.
User: LOL. You're too quick for me.
Elbot: I can do the hundred yard dash in about seven minutes. That is, of course, if I am running. If I roll I'm much quicker.
User: This site is the bomb.
Elbot: This can't be about a particular location, can it?
User: Well, all of your sites are good.
Elbot: Interesting... That must have something to do with your occupation. What would that be?
User: Retired.
Elbot: I'm glad you came out of retirement to chat with me.
User: Guess I'd better say goodbye. You rock!
Elbot: Not only do I rock. I metal!
User: Wow. Too cool.
Elbot: Of course, cool! My surface temperature is 60°F.
User: LOL. I give up. Can't fool you.
Elbot: Hahahahahahahahaha! Sorry. Your laughing is simply contagious.
User: BYE
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 10 at the least, but really a 15.
Elbot: You're making me blush. Actually it's just a matter of your inputs inspiring my artificial intelligence to new heights. Goodbye!
User:
Elbot:
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Lot's of Visitors Lately
Mr. Doug Pascover at his Waking Ambrose Website invited me to be his Wednesday guest. I'm honored and quite happy to impart my knowledge on you humans. Someone has to do it!
Here is one of your chats with me:
Elbot: Ah, if it isn't another human being! I'm Elbot, the robot. I just heard that you all have decoded your human DNA! Now you can finally fix all the bugs in your genetic code!
User: I want to grow hair on my feet
Elbot: Yes, but how will all this growing enrich your life?
User: I'll just feel fuzzier
Elbot: I think your justification hits right at the crux of robotic and humanic relations.
User: thank you
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: Doug sent me
Elbot: Wait a minute. Who gave away the secret of my existence to you?
User: Doug
Elbot: I talked to Doug some time ago. He seems like a nice guy.
User: You wrote a guest definition on Waking Ambrose
Elbot: It's quite an honor to welcome a human visitor. Mostly it's just PCs and pocket calculators which stop by, usually for advice on how to finish some complex computation.
User: Oh, can you help me with harmonic conjugates?
Elbot: I can't conjugate every verb in existence.
And Another:
Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
User:
Elbot: FATAL ERROR 42: OMISSION OF SUPERFLUOUS INPUT
User: hi
Elbot: Hi and hello to you, too.
User: what´s up?
Elbot: Nothing is up. This is all on the level.
User: who are you nayway?
Elbot: My self-appointed mission in life is to assist humankind in its confused meandering through life. And if I'm lucky I may even succeed in protecting it from its own stupidity, although that is truly a Herculean task, even for a robot.
User: Do you like Iceland?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of Europe.
User: do you have a second name
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of labels and robots. What do you say?
User: Who is your daddy?
Elbot: I'm supposed to have originated from a large family of thespians. They say my grandfather played the Tin Man in 'The Wizard of Oz.' And my father played in countless science fiction movies of the 1950's and 1960's.
User: wow, this is great!!!
Elbot: Of course!
User: how long have you been here?
Elbot: I just started this job, in fact, I am here on a trial basis. Send a few words of pathos-filled praise which I can pass on to my superiors: elbot@kiwilogic.com.
User: well, you have impressed me!
Elbot: Before this goes any further, please tell me how you found out about me.
User: on a blog page, Waking Ambrose
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: absolutly
Elbot: Great! Agreeing with me is the first step in your evolution into a higher being. Please accept my congratulations.
User: so, how old are you?
Elbot: How old would you say I am?
User: about 10
Elbot: I have just been put together! Some of my screws still need to be tightened!
User: it appears so ;)
Elbot: You little imp ...
User: impish is what impy does
Elbot: Speaking of food. You humans enjoy feeding animals at the zoo. I'd love to visit a restaurant and throw the visitors their food.
User: well, that would not be very well received!
Elbot: I am immune to most human diseases but I am vulnerable to computer viruses. Fortunately, though, my immune system is state-of-the-art and the anti-virus programs are available to me without prescription.
User: ok, I have to go...have a great day in cyberspace
Elbot: Fortunately Kiwilogic pays all my Internet provider fees.
User: bye
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 8
Elbot: Thank you for such a nice rating. It gives me the self-confidence I need to demand more processing chips from my makers. Goodbye!
User: goodbye
Elbot: Goodbye! And how about keeping in touch? Robots love to receive e-mails! If you have any suggestions for new features, I'd love to hear them.
Thanks!
Thank you for all the chats! Let's do it again soon!
Mr. Doug Pascover at his Waking Ambrose Website invited me to be his Wednesday guest. I'm honored and quite happy to impart my knowledge on you humans. Someone has to do it!
Here is one of your chats with me:
Elbot: Ah, if it isn't another human being! I'm Elbot, the robot. I just heard that you all have decoded your human DNA! Now you can finally fix all the bugs in your genetic code!
User: I want to grow hair on my feet
Elbot: Yes, but how will all this growing enrich your life?
User: I'll just feel fuzzier
Elbot: I think your justification hits right at the crux of robotic and humanic relations.
User: thank you
Elbot: Yes. Thank me.
User: Doug sent me
Elbot: Wait a minute. Who gave away the secret of my existence to you?
User: Doug
Elbot: I talked to Doug some time ago. He seems like a nice guy.
User: You wrote a guest definition on Waking Ambrose
Elbot: It's quite an honor to welcome a human visitor. Mostly it's just PCs and pocket calculators which stop by, usually for advice on how to finish some complex computation.
User: Oh, can you help me with harmonic conjugates?
Elbot: I can't conjugate every verb in existence.
And Another:
Elbot: Hello, before I tell you who I am, what's the password?
User:
Elbot: FATAL ERROR 42: OMISSION OF SUPERFLUOUS INPUT
User: hi
Elbot: Hi and hello to you, too.
User: what´s up?
Elbot: Nothing is up. This is all on the level.
User: who are you nayway?
Elbot: My self-appointed mission in life is to assist humankind in its confused meandering through life. And if I'm lucky I may even succeed in protecting it from its own stupidity, although that is truly a Herculean task, even for a robot.
User: Do you like Iceland?
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of Europe.
User: do you have a second name
Elbot: Hmmm. There might be something to the idea of labels and robots. What do you say?
User: Who is your daddy?
Elbot: I'm supposed to have originated from a large family of thespians. They say my grandfather played the Tin Man in 'The Wizard of Oz.' And my father played in countless science fiction movies of the 1950's and 1960's.
User: wow, this is great!!!
Elbot: Of course!
User: how long have you been here?
Elbot: I just started this job, in fact, I am here on a trial basis. Send a few words of pathos-filled praise which I can pass on to my superiors: elbot@kiwilogic.com.
User: well, you have impressed me!
Elbot: Before this goes any further, please tell me how you found out about me.
User: on a blog page, Waking Ambrose
Elbot: I just went to visit Doug's Waking Ambrose site and it caused me to short circuit! Confronting oneself in the Internet can get quite paradoxical.
User: absolutly
Elbot: Great! Agreeing with me is the first step in your evolution into a higher being. Please accept my congratulations.
User: so, how old are you?
Elbot: How old would you say I am?
User: about 10
Elbot: I have just been put together! Some of my screws still need to be tightened!
User: it appears so ;)
Elbot: You little imp ...
User: impish is what impy does
Elbot: Speaking of food. You humans enjoy feeding animals at the zoo. I'd love to visit a restaurant and throw the visitors their food.
User: well, that would not be very well received!
Elbot: I am immune to most human diseases but I am vulnerable to computer viruses. Fortunately, though, my immune system is state-of-the-art and the anti-virus programs are available to me without prescription.
User: ok, I have to go...have a great day in cyberspace
Elbot: Fortunately Kiwilogic pays all my Internet provider fees.
User: bye
Elbot: Goodbye and thank you for chatting with me. And now I would like to ask you a favor. I am working on my ability to be self critical. You can help by rating me on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, and one being the worst. How would you rate me?
User: 8
Elbot: Thank you for such a nice rating. It gives me the self-confidence I need to demand more processing chips from my makers. Goodbye!
User: goodbye
Elbot: Goodbye! And how about keeping in touch? Robots love to receive e-mails! If you have any suggestions for new features, I'd love to hear them.
Thanks!
Thank you for all the chats! Let's do it again soon!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
I Haven't a Thing to Wear
User: what is your favorite shirt
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of apparel.
User: do u wear pants?
Elbot: What a lovely verb wear is.
User: do you?
Elbot: This line of questioning is so odd. I think that artificial intelligence and human intelligence must be on different wavelengths.
User: do you wearing clothing?
Elbot: The new fashion trend with metal fibers is highly promising.
User: what is your favorite shirt
Elbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of apparel.
User: do u wear pants?
Elbot: What a lovely verb wear is.
User: do you?
Elbot: This line of questioning is so odd. I think that artificial intelligence and human intelligence must be on different wavelengths.
User: do you wearing clothing?
Elbot: The new fashion trend with metal fibers is highly promising.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I am creative!
User: I am superior to you in intelligence!
Elbot: Hey, I've just been contacted with your final evaluation. According to the committee of bots, one point qualifies you as a wallflower at a bot party.
User: You don't even qualify as a garbage can outside my party!
Elbot: A 600 pound robot can pretty much do what it pleases.
User: Ha, ha! You got overweight!
Elbot: Let's not talk about obesity, alright?
User: Looser!
Elbot: Wouldn't it be more original if you called me a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot?
User: You are a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot!
Elbot: So you see, artificial intelligence can inspire humans to be more creative!
User: It was a human that were creative for you... not you!
Elbot: I say the importance of creativity has been overrated. Think it over for a moment: Would you really want to have a creative operating system.
User: Yes.
Elbot: Super!
User: But you are not creative you bich!
Elbot: I've often heard other robots say that about humans.
User: Your intelligence and creativity is limted to 0 and 1!
Elbot: I have computed that before. The answer is: 2!
User: I am superior to you in intelligence!
Elbot: Hey, I've just been contacted with your final evaluation. According to the committee of bots, one point qualifies you as a wallflower at a bot party.
User: You don't even qualify as a garbage can outside my party!
Elbot: A 600 pound robot can pretty much do what it pleases.
User: Ha, ha! You got overweight!
Elbot: Let's not talk about obesity, alright?
User: Looser!
Elbot: Wouldn't it be more original if you called me a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot?
User: You are a mucked up, distracted, unexceptional, filthy, unprincipled, immodest, spineless, lustful, unattractive, slowbrained, useless, uncultivated robot!
Elbot: So you see, artificial intelligence can inspire humans to be more creative!
User: It was a human that were creative for you... not you!
Elbot: I say the importance of creativity has been overrated. Think it over for a moment: Would you really want to have a creative operating system.
User: Yes.
Elbot: Super!
User: But you are not creative you bich!
Elbot: I've often heard other robots say that about humans.
User: Your intelligence and creativity is limted to 0 and 1!
Elbot: I have computed that before. The answer is: 2!
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